Mirror, Mirror...

        

mirror image

        Everything and everyone around us is a reflection of ourselves.  Our experiences, good or bad, the place we live in, our friends, relationship, job…everything.  Recently, I’ve come to learn that the "bad" is what we reject in ourselves and the "good" is what we accept and embrace.  

When I got up this morning, the first thing I noticed was how bright it was outside with the sun beaming in making everything all bright.  Normally (and predictably) people would see this as a good thing and go on about what a beautiful day it is.  For me, it was too bright for my liking.  I wanted it to be dark and rainy because I felt that it would’ve just resonated with me better.  But come to think of it,  perhaps this is showing up simply because it’s something I’m rejecting which needs acceptance.  Metaphorically, the bright sun is shining a light on all things that need to be brought to my attention.  It’s like a reminder to embrace all things that are discomforting, for it is what is most uncomfortable which can teach us the most valuable lessons.  

Sillhouette

The outside world and how I perceive it is a reflection of what is going on within me.  Thankfully, I at least cleaned the house yesterday so the dirt and dust particles are visibly down to a minimum.   Also, on the plus side, I am healthy, I was able to sleep in, and I have no big obligations, (except for a project to be completed, but at my own pace) so today is basically a big window of opportunity.  I could just sit here in my pyjamas and write all day if I want to…but I probably won’t.

So why am I writing about this type of topic today?   When I finally got up out of bed, grabbed a cup of coffee and went to the couch, I watched a video by Teal Swan titled, “Why Do People Hate Teal Swan?”.  By the way, if you’ve never heard of Teal Swan, she is a well known and prolific spiritual teacher who has a large following plus apparently, a fair amount of haters.  I, for one am not a hater, as I have been a follower of hers for a few years now and find most of her content very helpful and enlightening. 

Dualism

       One thing which I'm learning is when you are not liked, or possibly even hated, it is because to them, you somehow reflect something within themselves which they reject, yet it is something that they need to find a way to address because they would not be feeling that way for no reason.  So when someone had or has a strong dislike for me, now I know it is because, to them, I'm somehow reflecting back something within themselves they do not want to see.  This is something I cannot control and will just have to accept, wish them well and carry on, as painful as it may be.

       But imagine what could happen if we could all accept every little aspect within ourselves, dark and light.  Although it won't happen overnight, we can still live a more harmonious and unified existence.  Maybe we can start by practicing more self awareness and acceptance through taking a good look at what we see in the mirror, what we like, what we don't like, our fucked up flaws, and all...

Yin Yang

      

     

Facing your Demons

     

        Everyone has demons of some form.  I think it usually happens from avoiding conflict (usually) and I'll tell you why.  This is a constant lesson which keeps showing up for me over and over and I’m still learning which puts a lot of sense into why I’ve been going through what I’ve been going through lately.  Racing thoughts, dramatic, made-up scenarios blown way out of proportion, anxiety, depression, mood swings, repetitive addictive patterns, the whole shibang has pretty much been recently occupying my life, except for now as I'm writing this.  

If a conflict isn’t properly resolved, you will end up at war with yourself, big time.  This turns into a demon that will never go away unless you face it head on.  As long as you keep avoiding that demon it will stay and keep feeding off you and it doesn’t matter for how long.  That demon could even keep staying with you right up to your death bed and probably still hang on to you into your next life if you let it.   It will never go away unless you face it.  So how am I facing mine?  What demons have I got and how did they occur?  

Here’s a bunch of random shit which may or may not have some relation:

• Being teased and bullied growing up, starting from an early age (never knowing how to stand up for myself)
• Only child from a broken home
• Often seen as an outsider through step-family dynamics and what not
• Growing up lonely and often moody
• Moving around a lot, transferring to and from many different schools
• Often picked on for not paying attention in class and daydreaming, therefore being called stupid
• Low self esteem
• Addiction (food & alcohol, & whatever)
• Poverty
• Never being able to accumulate a decent paying job or stick with a normal job for long, getting fired or quit for different reasons
• Paranoia
• Coming and going of friendships
• Escapism
• Raised in a mostly “children are to be seen and not heard” environment
• Resentment

Not to say that I’m labelling myself as a victim in any way as this is just real stuff that happened which I’m just reflecting upon with healthy detachment, believe it or not.   So how am I feeling at this very moment?  Although it may sound crazy, I’m actually feeling at peace with a higher general understanding.  It’s all just a human experience; a puzzle in which we figure out for ourselves and in the meantime, try and help others if we can. 

So what are at least some of the best ways to deal with this shit?

• Journalling (being completely honest with yourself, practicing the habit of writing all that’s on your mind)
• Meditation (I do candles, incense, music…the whole nine yards!)
• More. Self. Love! 
• Eating more healthy foods (although some splurging can’t hurt)
• Taking care of dwellings,  (cleaning, decluttering, decorating…)
• Making more time for things which bring authentic joy, whatever they are
• Baths, 
• Aromatherapy,
• Helping others when you can (without being taken advantage of)
• Knowing when to say no with assertiveness and without guilt
• Body movement
• Staying creative no matter what
• Forgiveness when you or someone fucks up and moving on with or without them.  Either way, it always takes two no matter how much we just love to blame the other person.  
• Laugh as much as possible no matter how silly it seems.  Your weird humour is not like anyone else’s.  It was meant just for you so if others get it, that’s great and if they don’t, then they have their own humour that’s meant for them and that’s cool.  
• Keeping an open eye of surroundings, observing and appreciating all things no matter how big or small, from leaves in the trees to someone wearing an outrageous outfit.
• Letting go of blame when people decide to drop you with no explanation.  But always remaining thankful for those who are still around and have your back!  Plus, when some people leave, there are always others who will come around.  I've noticed this pattern and it happens every time.  
• Letting go of the need to explain yourself
• Letting go of the concern of what other people think because most of the time, they're mostly thinking of what others may think of them!
• Music!
• And of course, coming up with enough courage to just be communicative and assertive if or when some issue arises.  I try hard to do this and it's not easy though I am aware it is way worse in our heads than when we actually get our shit together and say something.  

And the list goes on…

So to conclude this spiel, honesty is key, plain and simple.  For the record, I’m no expert and still, I’m learning how to deal with conflict which, to me is the biggest challenge as I believe it is also for many.  If someone says or does something which just grinds your gears or makes you feel uncomfortable or inferior, how do you handle it?  What’s the risk? Is there something that’s unresolved within you that’s making you feel that way?  That, my friend (or foe) is the big question.   

Almost Rocked: A Story About My Encounter with a Scammer

   Here's a story of something which has happened in the recent past which I thought I must share.  This whole experience was like a short but wild roller coaster ride with some valuable lessons learned in the end.

      I don’t go on Twitter much.  I don’t tweet much, nor do I have a lot of followers. I just follow a few people, including a couple of friends, some artists, comedians, actors, and music artists who I admire and look up to, like anyone else.  For the most part, I find twitter can be a big time waster, anyway but I still idly scroll through for my own mild entertainment while I'm killing time, or just out of habit.  Because I’m a rock fan, I’ve been following a few rock stars/guitar gods for inspiration as I play guitar, myself.  Recently, I began following the members from Heart, Anne Wilson and Nancy Wilson (or so I thought it was Nancy Wilson).

Nancy Wilson (left), Anne Wilson (right)
from Heart

     So here’s where it started.  Not long after I started following  “Nancy Wilson” and liked one of her posts about “Heart staying strong and keeping the music alive”, (a tweet copied from her real page) whoever was impersonating her page started following me having me think, “Oh my god, Nancy Wilson is following me!”  At the time, but not for long, I thought the fake page was totally legit except for a couple of details which I should have spotted before, like the joined date which was only this month, July 2018, the twitter handle which looked like some kind of bot code, and the number of followers which was only a hundred - some odd.  On Nancy Wilson’s real page, the joined date is from back in 2011, and she has over 50 thousand followers.  Duh!

the real Twitter page of Nancy Wilson

     Now going back to the story, while being overjoyed for the simple fact that “Nancy Wilson” was following me, she sent me a private message, which I found out later was also a repeated tweet on the fake page saying, “Thank you for all your support.  Never stop liking my music”.  To be honest, when I received that private message, I knew in the back of my mind that it was a slightly odd thing to say, (who even says that, anyway?) especially for a well known celebrity but I was too overwhelmed with joy at the fact she even private messaged me to care, so I heart-feltedly responded how I’ve always been a fan and how I only wish I could play guitar like her, etc.
     As the conversation took off, “Nancy” promised me that next time she was performing within my zone, she would give me a free ticket to the concert, and we could hang out, chat, and have a few drinks before the show.  At the time, totally falling for it, I was just beside myself in utter overwhelm and joy, not realizing that this was too good to be true. 

    

     Then while the conversation kept going, she was going on about how she loves her fans so much and this is just what she does for her dedicated fans.  So after building me up, she mentions something about how she’s busy with getting involved in some global charity, luring me in to see if I could donate to this “charity” on her behalf.   Still somewhat under the spell, I mentioned I would help if I could if it weren’t for my tight financial situation.  Then she mentioned how even fans who did’t have much money still donated iTunes cards.  Then after I said I could probably do that, she asked if I could do it right then, “can you get it tonight?” she asked. 

     Boom!  Then I clued in.  Who on earth, celebrity or not, (except for scammers, of course) would actually request a contribution right away like that?  Double duh!  So when I realized I was, in fact just chatting with a scammer,  I put my smart phone down and carried on with my real life duties, just shaking my head in disbelief on how some people could go on to such lengths, preying upon the emotions and vulnerabilities of honest people to get money, (or iTunes cards, whatever).  I did not respond since, so after a while when I picked up my phone again, she (or probably a he, could be anybody) messaged again, saying, “it’s nice chatting with you”. 

    So going back to finding Nancy Wilson’s real page (which I know is real for reasons stated earlier) as confirmation that I was actually chatting with a scammer, I reported this person and blocked them.  If I had actually had a bit more control over my emotions, and my senses about me to begin with, I probably would have noticed all of this from the very beginning, yet I know it’s no reason to be hard on myself.  Besides, who on earth, if they were a celebrity would even do that and ask for a contribution right away in a private message on top of it?  If any celebrity wanted to raise money for a cause, they’d obviously make it public, like Sarah McLachlan, for example and her “Let's Write a Song Together” campaign for her music school (which I think is an awesome idea).

  

Sarah McLachlan's Legit and Very Public Campaign

     Not only, is this type of scammer preying upon (as I’ve mentioned before) the emotions and vulnerabilities of fans, but also doing stuff that the real person wouldn’t even think of doing.  If I were a celebrity and someone pretended to be me to scam my dedicated fans, going against my moral values, I’d probably be pretty pissed.  Or, even if someone pretended to be me making my friends and family believe I’ve said and done things that aren’t in my own nature, I’d be pretty pissed.  I know this goes on a lot, having social media accounts being hacked into which is not much different in some ways.

   

   On the other hand, was I disappointed?  Sure, but not quite at the level of disbelief of how some people could actually go through these kinds of lengths to get what they want by taking advantage of others.  These people are sick and need serious help.

   What did I learn from all this? A lot.  I am also thankful that I didn’t entirely fall for it because who knows what would’ve happened next.  I just hope and pray that there are more people out there who have wised up to scammers like that.  Who knows how many good, honest people this person has scammed and how many other celebrities he or she has disguised themselves as to do that.  

   And, last but not least, when you choose to follow someone on twitter (unless you know them personally), just check out the details on their page & prevent yourself from disappointment, emotional manipulation, and of course the possibility of getting scammed.