Mirror, Mirror...

        

mirror image

        Everything and everyone around us is a reflection of ourselves.  Our experiences, good or bad, the place we live in, our friends, relationship, job…everything.  Recently, I’ve come to learn that the "bad" is what we reject in ourselves and the "good" is what we accept and embrace.  

When I got up this morning, the first thing I noticed was how bright it was outside with the sun beaming in making everything all bright.  Normally (and predictably) people would see this as a good thing and go on about what a beautiful day it is.  For me, it was too bright for my liking.  I wanted it to be dark and rainy because I felt that it would’ve just resonated with me better.  But come to think of it,  perhaps this is showing up simply because it’s something I’m rejecting which needs acceptance.  Metaphorically, the bright sun is shining a light on all things that need to be brought to my attention.  It’s like a reminder to embrace all things that are discomforting, for it is what is most uncomfortable which can teach us the most valuable lessons.  

Sillhouette

The outside world and how I perceive it is a reflection of what is going on within me.  Thankfully, I at least cleaned the house yesterday so the dirt and dust particles are visibly down to a minimum.   Also, on the plus side, I am healthy, I was able to sleep in, and I have no big obligations, (except for a project to be completed, but at my own pace) so today is basically a big window of opportunity.  I could just sit here in my pyjamas and write all day if I want to…but I probably won’t.

So why am I writing about this type of topic today?   When I finally got up out of bed, grabbed a cup of coffee and went to the couch, I watched a video by Teal Swan titled, “Why Do People Hate Teal Swan?”.  By the way, if you’ve never heard of Teal Swan, she is a well known and prolific spiritual teacher who has a large following plus apparently, a fair amount of haters.  I, for one am not a hater, as I have been a follower of hers for a few years now and find most of her content very helpful and enlightening. 

Dualism

       One thing which I'm learning is when you are not liked, or possibly even hated, it is because to them, you somehow reflect something within themselves which they reject, yet it is something that they need to find a way to address because they would not be feeling that way for no reason.  So when someone had or has a strong dislike for me, now I know it is because, to them, I'm somehow reflecting back something within themselves they do not want to see.  This is something I cannot control and will just have to accept, wish them well and carry on, as painful as it may be.

       But imagine what could happen if we could all accept every little aspect within ourselves, dark and light.  Although it won't happen overnight, we can still live a more harmonious and unified existence.  Maybe we can start by practicing more self awareness and acceptance through taking a good look at what we see in the mirror, what we like, what we don't like, our fucked up flaws, and all...

Yin Yang

      

     

Facing your Demons

     

        Everyone has demons of some form.  I think it usually happens from avoiding conflict (usually) and I'll tell you why.  This is a constant lesson which keeps showing up for me over and over and I’m still learning which puts a lot of sense into why I’ve been going through what I’ve been going through lately.  Racing thoughts, dramatic, made-up scenarios blown way out of proportion, anxiety, depression, mood swings, repetitive addictive patterns, the whole shibang has pretty much been recently occupying my life, except for now as I'm writing this.  

If a conflict isn’t properly resolved, you will end up at war with yourself, big time.  This turns into a demon that will never go away unless you face it head on.  As long as you keep avoiding that demon it will stay and keep feeding off you and it doesn’t matter for how long.  That demon could even keep staying with you right up to your death bed and probably still hang on to you into your next life if you let it.   It will never go away unless you face it.  So how am I facing mine?  What demons have I got and how did they occur?  

Here’s a bunch of random shit which may or may not have some relation:

• Being teased and bullied growing up, starting from an early age (never knowing how to stand up for myself)
• Only child from a broken home
• Often seen as an outsider through step-family dynamics and what not
• Growing up lonely and often moody
• Moving around a lot, transferring to and from many different schools
• Often picked on for not paying attention in class and daydreaming, therefore being called stupid
• Low self esteem
• Addiction (food & alcohol, & whatever)
• Poverty
• Never being able to accumulate a decent paying job or stick with a normal job for long, getting fired or quit for different reasons
• Paranoia
• Coming and going of friendships
• Escapism
• Raised in a mostly “children are to be seen and not heard” environment
• Resentment

Not to say that I’m labelling myself as a victim in any way as this is just real stuff that happened which I’m just reflecting upon with healthy detachment, believe it or not.   So how am I feeling at this very moment?  Although it may sound crazy, I’m actually feeling at peace with a higher general understanding.  It’s all just a human experience; a puzzle in which we figure out for ourselves and in the meantime, try and help others if we can. 

So what are at least some of the best ways to deal with this shit?

• Journalling (being completely honest with yourself, practicing the habit of writing all that’s on your mind)
• Meditation (I do candles, incense, music…the whole nine yards!)
• More. Self. Love! 
• Eating more healthy foods (although some splurging can’t hurt)
• Taking care of dwellings,  (cleaning, decluttering, decorating…)
• Making more time for things which bring authentic joy, whatever they are
• Baths, 
• Aromatherapy,
• Helping others when you can (without being taken advantage of)
• Knowing when to say no with assertiveness and without guilt
• Body movement
• Staying creative no matter what
• Forgiveness when you or someone fucks up and moving on with or without them.  Either way, it always takes two no matter how much we just love to blame the other person.  
• Laugh as much as possible no matter how silly it seems.  Your weird humour is not like anyone else’s.  It was meant just for you so if others get it, that’s great and if they don’t, then they have their own humour that’s meant for them and that’s cool.  
• Keeping an open eye of surroundings, observing and appreciating all things no matter how big or small, from leaves in the trees to someone wearing an outrageous outfit.
• Letting go of blame when people decide to drop you with no explanation.  But always remaining thankful for those who are still around and have your back!  Plus, when some people leave, there are always others who will come around.  I've noticed this pattern and it happens every time.  
• Letting go of the need to explain yourself
• Letting go of the concern of what other people think because most of the time, they're mostly thinking of what others may think of them!
• Music!
• And of course, coming up with enough courage to just be communicative and assertive if or when some issue arises.  I try hard to do this and it's not easy though I am aware it is way worse in our heads than when we actually get our shit together and say something.  

And the list goes on…

So to conclude this spiel, honesty is key, plain and simple.  For the record, I’m no expert and still, I’m learning how to deal with conflict which, to me is the biggest challenge as I believe it is also for many.  If someone says or does something which just grinds your gears or makes you feel uncomfortable or inferior, how do you handle it?  What’s the risk? Is there something that’s unresolved within you that’s making you feel that way?  That, my friend (or foe) is the big question.